Dear Antwon.... // An adoption story
I know what you're saying, "Amy, we usually only see weddings on your blog!" And you're right. I love weddings. I love being there as a new family is created. And sometimes I have the opportunity to document that in a different way. Last October I had the honor of being there the day that Aniyah was officially adopted by my dear friends Nick and Lucia. Today, not quite a year later, I was there again as they adopted her younger brother Antwon.
I've never been good with words so I asked Nick if I could share the words he wrote for Antwon this morning. If you are interested in more information about our Milwaukee foster and adoption program, please let me know and I am more than happy to get you in touch.
Dear Antwan -
It was a balmy 44-degree day in Milwaukee. The bitter winter cold had subtly passed us by – the snow seemingly a distant memory - only a few gray, dirty snow piles remained. It was a Wednesday evening when we got the call that you were about to make your way into the world. That night Mommy and I prayed for a safe delivery for both you and your birth mom, Tiara….and we prayed that whatever it was God had planned for your life, where He wanted you to be, you would be safe.
The next day when I got home from work, I packed up your sister and the two of us went to the hospital to meet you for the very first time. You were less than 24 hours old. The first time I saw you, held you... I was amazed at your eyes…your huge inquisitive eyes…not even a day old and already alert looking around. I fell in love with you.
I excused myself from the room so that you, your belly mom and your sister could have some time together. You needed that time together. As our visit came to an end, I asked Nya if we could show mamma Tiara how we pray…and together, the 4 of us sat on the edge of the hospital bed and I prayed for all of you.
As Nya and I left the room and walked down the long and narrow corridor towards the parking garage, I wondered if you too, like your sister 14 months earlier, would come live with us – would it be forever, a little while, or not at all? Whatever it was, I knew for sure that you and I were going to be connected for the rest of our lives…
The next day I was at work and mommy called me with the news…we were asked if we would be willing to have you come live with us. I knew there was no choice. How could we possibly say no to you? We were blessed with the opportunity to keep siblings together….the answer was a resounding YES!. I don’t know exactly how many prayers were sent up that day, but I can tell you this, heaven was flooded with prayers.
There we were…a mere 12 hours away from bringing you home from the hospital…completely unprepared for an infant. And just like that…with a few phone calls made, the support system that the Lord had surrounded us with sprang into action….so many people that you had never met, that had never met you, showed you so much love. Within those 12 hours we had everything we needed plus more than we could possibly have imagined from so many people that loved you before they ever saw you.
Now today, not quite 17 months later, as God adopted us into his Family, and as we adopted your sister less than a year ago into our family, our family has the honor, the privilege and blessing to adopt you. You, Mr. Antwan are loved more than you could ever possibly know.
And while today I am truly humbled that we have been given an amazing gift and showered with love from so many, I am nervous – because there are so many things that I plan to teach, so many things that I need to teach you and so many things that I just won’t be able to teach you because I just don’t know.
I will teach you how to change a tire, throw a curve ball, give a proper hand shake and make eye contact. I will teach you your colors, how to ride a bike, cut the grass and drive. I will teach you how to be honest, respectful, act with integrity, be a good friend, and have a strong work ethic. I will teach you all about Jesus and how to reflect the love he has for you to others. I will teach you how to take a shower, how to shave, and even how to treat a lady.
But what I can’t teach you is what it’s like to be a black male in the world in which we live. You will experience many wonderful things, but many unfortunate things as well. Im sad to think I will never be able to see the world or experience it as you do – through those big beautiful brown eyes….through the lenses of a black male.
But Mr. Antwan…I want to understand. To you, I promise that I will do everything possible - everything in my power - to learn all I can - so that I can give you advice, that I can empathize with you and that I can be there for you in the manner in which you need.
Now don’t misunderstand me, while I promise to teach you all that I can, and learn as much as I can, I am not going to give you or any of your brothers or sister a free pass. I promise you that there will come a time when you aren’t going to be very happy with me…GOOD! Then I am doing a fine job being your dad... Let me be clear….while you are growing up, I’m your dad and I have a job to do…I’m not your buddy….Just as Jack or Jake they’ll tell you!
Antwan I want you to know that there are so many good people that have made today possible. Our own family, our church family, friends, neighbors, and people we have never met….they have all given us so much support…and without their support and love, I shudder to think what would have been. I especially want you to always know your belly momma, Tiara. In this crazy and broken world where there are so many options…she chose to give you life. I can’t thank her enough for that. I promise that she will be involved in your life as much as she can be and chooses to be. Throughout your days, remember to pray for her.
I promise, young man…to be there for you…to be there (where ever there may be) at every milestone in your life…your first day of school, your first baseball game, the first time you ride a bike, the first time you fancy a young lady (or maybe boy??), your first school dance, your first shave, your first behind the wheel drivers lesson, the day you walk down the aisle and the day you start your own family. When things are awesome I will be there to celebrate with you and when you are down, I will be there to listen to you, cry with you, and hug you. Through it all my little man…I will always, forever more, love you.
Love you much!
Daddy.
It was a balmy 44-degree day in Milwaukee. The bitter winter cold had subtly passed us by – the snow seemingly a distant memory - only a few gray, dirty snow piles remained. It was a Wednesday evening when we got the call that you were about to make your way into the world. That night Mommy and I prayed for a safe delivery for both you and your birth mom, Tiara….and we prayed that whatever it was God had planned for your life, where He wanted you to be, you would be safe.
The next day when I got home from work, I packed up your sister and the two of us went to the hospital to meet you for the very first time. You were less than 24 hours old. The first time I saw you, held you... I was amazed at your eyes…your huge inquisitive eyes…not even a day old and already alert looking around. I fell in love with you.
I excused myself from the room so that you, your belly mom and your sister could have some time together. You needed that time together. As our visit came to an end, I asked Nya if we could show mamma Tiara how we pray…and together, the 4 of us sat on the edge of the hospital bed and I prayed for all of you.
As Nya and I left the room and walked down the long and narrow corridor towards the parking garage, I wondered if you too, like your sister 14 months earlier, would come live with us – would it be forever, a little while, or not at all? Whatever it was, I knew for sure that you and I were going to be connected for the rest of our lives…
The next day I was at work and mommy called me with the news…we were asked if we would be willing to have you come live with us. I knew there was no choice. How could we possibly say no to you? We were blessed with the opportunity to keep siblings together….the answer was a resounding YES!. I don’t know exactly how many prayers were sent up that day, but I can tell you this, heaven was flooded with prayers.
There we were…a mere 12 hours away from bringing you home from the hospital…completely unprepared for an infant. And just like that…with a few phone calls made, the support system that the Lord had surrounded us with sprang into action….so many people that you had never met, that had never met you, showed you so much love. Within those 12 hours we had everything we needed plus more than we could possibly have imagined from so many people that loved you before they ever saw you.
Now today, not quite 17 months later, as God adopted us into his Family, and as we adopted your sister less than a year ago into our family, our family has the honor, the privilege and blessing to adopt you. You, Mr. Antwan are loved more than you could ever possibly know.
And while today I am truly humbled that we have been given an amazing gift and showered with love from so many, I am nervous – because there are so many things that I plan to teach, so many things that I need to teach you and so many things that I just won’t be able to teach you because I just don’t know.
I will teach you how to change a tire, throw a curve ball, give a proper hand shake and make eye contact. I will teach you your colors, how to ride a bike, cut the grass and drive. I will teach you how to be honest, respectful, act with integrity, be a good friend, and have a strong work ethic. I will teach you all about Jesus and how to reflect the love he has for you to others. I will teach you how to take a shower, how to shave, and even how to treat a lady.
But what I can’t teach you is what it’s like to be a black male in the world in which we live. You will experience many wonderful things, but many unfortunate things as well. Im sad to think I will never be able to see the world or experience it as you do – through those big beautiful brown eyes….through the lenses of a black male.
But Mr. Antwan…I want to understand. To you, I promise that I will do everything possible - everything in my power - to learn all I can - so that I can give you advice, that I can empathize with you and that I can be there for you in the manner in which you need.
Now don’t misunderstand me, while I promise to teach you all that I can, and learn as much as I can, I am not going to give you or any of your brothers or sister a free pass. I promise you that there will come a time when you aren’t going to be very happy with me…GOOD! Then I am doing a fine job being your dad... Let me be clear….while you are growing up, I’m your dad and I have a job to do…I’m not your buddy….Just as Jack or Jake they’ll tell you!
Antwan I want you to know that there are so many good people that have made today possible. Our own family, our church family, friends, neighbors, and people we have never met….they have all given us so much support…and without their support and love, I shudder to think what would have been. I especially want you to always know your belly momma, Tiara. In this crazy and broken world where there are so many options…she chose to give you life. I can’t thank her enough for that. I promise that she will be involved in your life as much as she can be and chooses to be. Throughout your days, remember to pray for her.
I promise, young man…to be there for you…to be there (where ever there may be) at every milestone in your life…your first day of school, your first baseball game, the first time you ride a bike, the first time you fancy a young lady (or maybe boy??), your first school dance, your first shave, your first behind the wheel drivers lesson, the day you walk down the aisle and the day you start your own family. When things are awesome I will be there to celebrate with you and when you are down, I will be there to listen to you, cry with you, and hug you. Through it all my little man…I will always, forever more, love you.
Love you much!
Daddy.
LOL! Mom asked me to get a picture of their 4 kids together. This is the best we got Cia!
Comments
Post a Comment